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Baba Brinkman evolving rapping to where no rapper has gone before…

Here is a great article on the same topic by Olivia Judson we thought you’d also enjoy.

By OLIVIA JUDSON

The lights go down. The room fills with music — a pulsating hip-hop rhythm. And then, over the music, you hear the voice of Richard Dawkins reading a passage from “On the Origin of Species” by Charles Darwin: “Whoever is led to believe that species are mutable will do good service by conscientiously expressing his conviction. For only thus can the load of prejudice by which this subject is overwhelmed be removed.”

So begins one of the most astonishing, and brilliant, lectures on evolution I’ve ever seen: “The Rap Guide to Evolution,” by Baba Brinkman.

Read the rest of the article here: Darwin Got It Going On

And Here’s a Selection of Baba Brinkman’s Music (on CBC Radio)

Thoughts?

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We received this from a friend and wanted to share our slightly modified version with you…

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How Much for a Miracle?

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even… The total had to be exactly perfect… No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to the drug store. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment.

Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

“And what do you want?” the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. “I’m talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven’t seen in ages,” he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

“Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,” Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. “He’s really, really sick….and I want to buy a miracle.”

“I beg your pardon?” said the pharmacist.

“His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?”

“We don’t sell miracles here, little girl. I’m sorry but I can’t help you,” the pharmacist said, softening a little.

“Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.”

The pharmacist’s brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, “What kind of a miracle does your brother need?”

“I don’t know,” Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he’s really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can’t pay for it, so I want to use my money.”

“How much do you have?” asked the man from Chicago.

“One dollar and eleven cents,” Tess answered barely audible.

“And it’s all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.”

“Well, what a coincidence,” smiled the man. “A dollar and eleven cents is the exact price of a miracle for little brothers.”

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said “Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let’s see if I have the miracle you need.”

That well-dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neurosurgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn’t long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

“That surgery,” her Mom whispered. “was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?”

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost….one dollar and eleven cents…plus the faith of a little child.

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Miracles and the Circle of Life

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law. So by acting in harmony with these higher laws it’s possible to keep miracles moving through our circle of friends!

A circle has no beginning and no end. It is connected like we are to each other. How many more miracles would we see if we all acted like we really are connected in the circle of life?

We never know how many miracles we may need in our lives, so today we share our commitment to support you in these (and other :~) ways through the work we do.

When you are feeling sad …we will help dry your tears.

When you are feeling scared …we will help comfort your fears.

When you are worried …we will help give you hope.

When you are feeling confused …we will help you cope.

When things seem darkest …we will help make them bright.

And when you are lost …we’ll help you see the light.

This is our commitment …our pledge till the end.

Why you may ask? Because you’re our friend.

Today we pass along our commitment through our circle of friendship to you.

You can pass it along to your circle of friends by your commitment to see every person you meet as a friend and every need as an opportunity for a miracle.

Then the next time you see, speak to, or e-mail someone you know you can tell them of this story about Tess, and share with them your commitment to creating miracles in the world.

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Mixing Traditions: New Year’s Resolutions, Spring Cleaning, and Boxing Day

New Year’s is traditionally a time to dispense with our old habits and welcome the new. Spring Cleaning is the exercise of a very similar principle, but applied to the physical things in our life. The tradition of Boxing Day is new to us. We initially heard that it was similar to Spring Cleaning, but done at New Year’s.

Turns out, this wasn’t quite accurate. There seem to be two theories about Boxing Day. The more common one is that hundreds of years ago, on the day after Christmas, members of the merchant class gave boxes of food, clothing, and/or money to those they employed, such as trades people and servants.

These gifts were given as an expression of gratitude for service rendered in the same way people today get bonuses from their employer. These boxed gifts gave the holiday its name, Boxing Day. The other theory is that Boxing Day had its origins in that same era from a church practice of putting out collection boxes to receive donations for the poor on this day.

New Year’s Spring Boxing Day

This year, one of the resolutions Beth and I made was to only keep things in our lives that still “fit” in every sense of that word. We want to eliminate the distraction of having things clutter our space that are no longer relevant, appropriate, meaningful, or pleasing.

Those of you who know us will remember that we moved about a year and half ago, and we did a major purging during that move. So this New Year’s day we found that most of what needed to go was clothing from our closets.

Few of these were actually worn out and that, combined with the ruthless pruning of our wardrobe, generated four large bags of serviceable clothes to be donated to a local charity that maintains a drop-box at the community center near our house. So in this way it seemed that we were also expressing some of the tradition of Boxing Day by giving charitably to those in need.

Out With the Old to Make Room for the New

Reflecting on this process brought my awareness to some similarities between our physical and mental wardrobes. My musing stimulated this question: If I can clean out my physical wardrobe of those items that no longer fit, feel right, or express who I have become and am becoming, why not do the same with my mental wardrobe of beliefs, concepts, self-image, etc.?

I many ways these internal and external wardrobes serve similar functions. One function they both serve is to protect us from the elements. My physical wardrobe living in Southern California may be quite different from someone who lives in Fairbanks, Alaska, but the clothes we buy protect us from the weather and help us do what we want in both places.

The mental wardrobe of beliefs, concepts, and self-image that I bought into growing up in my family, community, and social environment may be very different than the mental wardrobe you acquired during your infancy, adolescence, and beyond. But, in a similar way, they have served to protect us from emotional and psychological danger and help us do as we want as well.

Another function performed by both our physical and mental wardrobes is to convey how we see ourselves, influence how we are seen, and to create a sense of social identity so that we can fit into the communities we want to be part of.

The Clothes Make the Man, and Woman.

Mark Twain said: “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

Well, Lady Godiva may disagree, but wouldn’t it be great if we could just as easily bag up the emotional and psychological outfits in our mental closet that no longer fit or serve us well? And what if all we had to do to get rid of them was to simply drop them into a universal energy recycling bin somewhere? Just send them back to the great vibrating pool of energy where they’d dissolve back into that raw material that all concepts and stuff comes from in the first place.

Where might we find such a drop-box? I imagine one a place in space like the Crab Nebula I’ve seen in pictures from the Hubble space telescope, but somehow in the middle there’s a deposit shoot with a big metal handle you can pull down. And when I do it opens into the all-thing-ness of subspace.

Then I imagine standing in front of this cosmic drop-box, and being able to gather up the fabric of all of those ill fitting beliefs and self-images that are woven throughout the synapses of my mind, being able to push them into the open shoot, and then letting go of the handle.

I could even picture myself floating there for a while, enjoying a space of gratitude for being able to clear room in my mental closet. Room that will allow me to attract the beliefs and wisdom that will better help me express who I’ve become, and am becoming at this point in my life. And grateful for having created the freedom and flexibility that allows for creativity in choosing how I might express my true self in the coming year.

Change is for the Good

In thinking about this I realize that life is an ongoing process of outgrowing, shedding, discovering and adopting. I’ve shed many of the mental patterns I once had. They come and go as the scenery of my life’s journey. And, as with my physical wardrobe, sometimes I seem to cling to old mental clothing far longer than it serves me.

So, if life is a process of becoming, then I guess one kind of death is when we no longer shed our outmoded ways of thinking to make way for new ones. It’s when we stop refreshing our mental wardrobe.

For these reasons I enjoyed our New Year’s Spring Boxing Day. Now if I can just keep this awareness in mind for the rest of the year…

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What creativity, imagination and a socially conscious vision can accomplish!

We just had to share this incredibly moving video by Jason van Genderen. It was shot entirely on a cellphone video camera.

Tropfest NY 2008 winner, “Mankind Is No Island”

Van Genderen created this whole film using street signs and billboards to quite literally spell out his social message. And what a message it is.

Did this touch a chord of emotion somewhere deep in your heart?

Let us know what you think.

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Balancing Your Needs with the Needs of Others

Are you one of those people who constantly put your own needs at the bottom of the priority list? Do other people’s needs always seem to be more important than your own? Though many of us try to put others first, but neglecting to address our own needs is not good for us or those we are trying to serve.

Can you really get ahead in your career, your relationships, or take care of your responsibilities to family and friends if you don’t take care of your own needs?

Impossible!

Be mindful of getting overly caught up in endless busywork and constantly attending to the needs of others. You need to take care of yourself too, which includes sleeping well, eating properly, exercising, relaxing, and making sure that you maintain a healthy balance in your life.

If you’ve been neglecting yourself lately, now is the time to make some changes that will bring more peace, harmony, and well-being into your life. To do this you must first identify exactly what is most important to you, figure out which of these things may be missing, and then focus your attention on bringing more of that into your life.

Once you move past the constant frenzy of taking care of the needs of others, you will start to find yourself on the path to true happiness.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

When we focus our attention on satisfying our own needs, we cannot help but grow. Living a balanced life allows us to be more creative, more successful, and enjoy a life that is full of what we love. Having all of our needs met makes us much more effective in meeting others’ needs too.

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We received an e-mail today from a dear friend and we want to share her gift with you–the gift of inspiration.  Thanks Dale!

Since we in the United States celebrate the Fourth of July as our Independence Day–we thought it would also be an excellent time to celebrate all that we are blessed with, and to consider all that we could be giving to others who don’t have as much. Kind of an Interdependence Day.

WE Are The World!

We Are The World by USA For Africa
Written by Michael Jackson & Lionel Richie

We thought you might  also enjoy having the lyrics. . .

“We Are The World”, U.S.A. for Africa

There comes a time when we need a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
Oh, and it’s time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can’t go on pretending day by day
That someone, somehow will soon make a change
We’re all a part of God’s great big family
And the truth – you know love is all we need

( CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
so let’s start giving
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

Well, send’em you your heart
So they know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us
By turning stone to bread
And so we all must lend a helping hand

( REPEAT CHORUS )

When you’re down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There’s no way we can fall
Well, well, well, let’s realize
That one change can only come
When we stand together as one

( REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE )

We hope you enjoy your Interdependence Day Celebrations!

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Is “Expert Advice” Driving You Crazy?

We received a question from one of our community members.

She’d read Dr. Kevin Leman’s relationship advice that opposes dating after being widowed or divorced until your youngest child is at least 18 years-old, and better yet, when they are 21 or 22 and the nest is empty.

Now, this is a youthful, 50-ish woman with children far from leaving the nest, so this would mean a very long wait for her.

After reading Leman’s opinion she became very discouraged and asked if we agreed that she should wait years before seeking companionship. What is a healthy person supposed to do when they long for companionship and the “expert” says forget about it?

Our Thoughts on the Matter

As soon as we read this we knew this blog post was needed. It’s not uncommon for people to wonder what to do when an expert’s opinion seems so at odds with their own. We’ve run into this before in relation to the advice of other experts–and our answer is always the same.

One saying we love is: The shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice. But you can’t make conscious choices–even about what you hear from the experts–unless you’re very clear about what’s deeply important to YOU.

Opinions Are Like Armpits

Why? Everyone has more than one and they tend to stink if you’re not careful with them.

What we mean by being careful with your opinions is that you are conscious of them, how you’ve come to hold them as true for you, and whether or not they serve you and others in your life.

Everyone has lots of opinions, and we all generate new ones all the time. We are opinion generating machines!

Every expert focuses on particular areas that are very important to them–areas they care about deeply. This has them come up with specific strategies to help themselves and others experience what is important to them about these areas.

Dr. Leman must deeply values particular things that caused him to come up with the strategy: Don’t date after the loss of the mate until the youngest child is at least 18.

This strategy may work great for you–or it may not work for you at all. But you can’t know whether it might work for you unless you know what you hope to create in life at a core level, both with your children and with an intimate companion.

Once you understand this, there may be many other strategies that will allow you to experience what’s important to you that don’t prevent you from dating.

So What Is “Our Opinion”?

Our opinion is that you are your own highest authority. You are best served by looking within to discover what you value most about each aspect of this rather complicated situation. One way to do this is to work through one of our free Values Exercise worksheet. You can find it at:

http://www.focusedattention.com/store/thank-you/free_Values_Exercise_registration.htm

In this case we would suggest that you do a separate Values Worksheet for each aspect of the situation that’s important to you: your relationship with each child, what you hope for from an intimate relationship, etc. Then read our special report about creating conscious intentions. To find it go to:
http://www.focusedattention.com/eZine/FAI-eZine0905_Unconscious_Intentions_Running_Your_Life.htm

Then, while keeping all of the various opinions and advice you’ve received in mind, choose which strategies would work best to help you experience what you value most. After doing this, it may turn out that Dr. Leman’s approach would work best for you, or you may come up with strategies that seem more appropriate for what you want to create in your life.

But you can’t know for sure until you hear from the most important expert–YOU!

Trust yourself. You are your own best expert. The rest of us are only here to support, suggest, and offer our ideas and strategies. The rest is up to you–and that’s the good news.

With much love and respect for who you are,
Beth and Neill

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Choice — Both an Opportunity and Responsibility

Every moment of every day we have the opportunity to consciously choose where we focus our attention.  It is one of the few choices that no one can take away from us.

Maybe it’s more than just an opportunity. Maybe it’s also a responsibility since what we choose impacts how we are, what we do, and ultimately who we become. And collectively, our becoming is what will become of the world.

Here’s a video that we found very inspiring, and we hope that you will too!

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Want a Happier More Fulfilling Life?

We’re always on the lookout for ideas about how to live a happier more fulfilling life and what we’ve noticed is that life lessons can come from the most curious places.

Recently, ours neighbors adopted a new puppy. He is the cutest little thing. If you pay attention, dogs can teach you profound life lessons –in addition to the wonderful benefits you would usually expect, like being a loving companion.

What Can Miles Teach You?

Miles is one of the most precocious puppies that we’ve ever known. He’s a beautiful black lab mix with tons of spunky energy. By watching Miles closely, we have learned two important lessons.

The first lesson we have learn from Miles is: Ask for what you want. Too often we find ourselves doing things on our own, even if we could have gotten help from someone else. How many times have you just done something yourself rather than ask if someone is willing to help you? Someone might be very willing to give you what you want.

Miles never seems to hesitate to ask for what he needs, when he needs it. It doesn’t matter if he’s hungry, wants to play, or needs to go outside, he just asks and then he gets what he wants. We do our best to be like Miles. We have even created a habit of asking for least one thing a day–it helps us practice this lesson.

Why is it So Easy for Miles?

The second lesson: As we tried to understand why it is so easy for Miles and so difficult for many people to ask for what we want. We have settled on two important reasons for this difference:

1 – Miles is not worried that he’ll hear the dreaded word “NO.” He simply has no fear at all about this. Funny, but even when he does hear “no,” he seems sure that if he only asks a couple more times, he will eventually get a yes.

On those really rare occasions when he does hear “no” as a final answer, he is able to walk away and move on to the next important activity in his day, without giving it a second thought.

2 – The other important difference between us and Miles is that he doesn’t spend any time worrying about whether he is bothering anyone or what the other person thinks of him for asking. Miles has no investment in other people’s reactions, and he takes on no responsibility for their feelings. If someone doesn’t want to do what he wants, it’s really no big deal. He moves on, without worrying about that person’s opinion of him.

Miles certainly has not spent a lot of time delving into these ideas about himself and others, nor does he seem to have opinions about it one way or another. But, even without having an opinion, he has taught us something critical–ask for what you want, you might just get it. And you’re definitely no worse off than you were before you asked.

Try It Yourself: Ask for What You Want

If at least once every day you can identify one thing you want, and then ask for it, you will find that there are many times you will get exactly what we want. This is a simple way to achieve more than you could on your own, and the perfect way to put into practice the lessons learned from Miles.  If hearing “no” is the worst thing that can happen, why wait.  Start today and, ask away!

So what do you think, can you learn life lessons from a dog? We’d love to hear from you! Let us know by leaving a comment or joining Google friends connect and staying in touch.

until next time, with love,

Beth and Neill

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We were e-mailed this set of pictures by a friend. We were so touched we wanted to share them with you.

The story goes that these pictures were taken by a French photographer, who sold them for a nominal fee to the most popular newspaper in France. And that the newspaper edition was completely sold out on the day these pictures were published.

It’s a profound and deeply emotional story told in pictures.

Beware, it’s a tear-jerker.

Here the mate is injured and the condition is fatal.

Here he brought her food and attended to her with love and compassion.

Came back to bring her more food but was shocked to find her dead. He tried to move her.

Aware that his sweetheart is dead and will never come back to him again, he cried with adoring love.

He stood beside her, saddened by her death.

Finally aware that she would never return to him, he stood beside her body with sadness and sorrow.

Emotion is a funny thing. We can feel it, sense it in others, or see it on people’s faces or in their body language. These images and the story they tell are a great example. Some people think animals aren’t capable of the complex emotions ascribed to the bird in these pictures.

What do you think?

With Love,
Beth and Neill

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Everything Old Is New Again

Have you ever noticed how everything seems to cycle back into popularity. Bellbottoms, guys with long hair, tie-dyed shirts–they all seem to be coming back in full force. We read somewhere that it takes about 40 years for things to get recycled back into popularity.

We’ve decided not to wait 40 years to bring back The Full Cup Test, an exercise that we used in our seminars awhile ago. We named this based on an old Zen story that goes something like this:

“Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), was visited by a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he could no longer restrain himself. “It’s overflowing,” said the university professor, “no more will go in!” “Like this cup,” Nan-in replied, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

It’s Hard To Receive When Your Cup’s Already Full

We just love what this story teaches and we strive to keep emptying our own cups so we’re able to continue learning new things. One way we do this is to think of the tea as a metaphor for the cultural beliefs that fill our minds. This tea comes in many varieties for us: beliefs about what life means, who we are, how we should act, and many others. These beliefs motivate our actions and dictate the direction we will take on our life’s journey.

Because of this, we often ask this question: Are the beliefs that I hold as the “truth” my own beliefs–ones that are truly in harmony with my personal values–or are they beliefs that were handed down from past generations and I have just adopted them unquestioningly?

Question Authority

As we start to question, we are able to empty our cups, which allows us to taste new and more satisfying varieties of tea. We believe this is essential for our continued learning and growth, and for us to evolve into the highest expressions of ourselves.

We also believe that our deepest discoveries emerge in relationship with others. Since we connect with others through language, the most powerful interactions happen through dialogue: sharing our stories, discoveries, and ideas.

To support this evolution in our community, we’re bringing back a modified version of The Full Cup Test. Our aim is to use this as a fun way to stimulate conversation that promotes self discovery. This time we are calling it:
Is It Really True? ~ New Rules For The Game Of Life Quiz

There are no right or wrong answers. Our goal is to stimulate dialogue about some of our commonly held cultural beliefs. The point is to ask yourself these questions and comment on what you discover:

• Do I believe this statement?
• What cultural belief is this statement based on?
• Is this belief in harmony with my personal values?
• Does it support me living consciously and in harmony with what I value most?

In the next few days we will be posting the first installment of this monthly quiz. So sign up for our RSS feed and look for the title, “Is It Really True?” Then drop by and start playing this game of self discovery by seeing if you agree or disagree with the first statement.

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I Guess You’ll Do.

Are You Settling for Less in Your Life?

Yes, this is just a silly little video–both funny and sad–but after watching it you might want to ask yourself these questions: Is my life the effect of societal expectations? Am I settling for less than what I truly want?

If so, you’re not alone. We believe settling for less happens because people haven’t discovered what they are truly passionate about–what brings joy and meaning to their lives. Or, if they do know what they’re passionate about, they’re not sure how to create a life that embodies this passion.

If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, try asking yourself these questions:

1. What brings me the greatest joy?
2. How do I most like spending my time?
3. Who is the person I admire most in the world?

Your answers to these questions will give you clues to what you are passionate about. When you learn the answer to these questions–and get to the core of what you’re passionate about–you can begin discovering ways you can experience more of these things in your life.

Knowing what’s most important to you is the very first step you must take in order to stop settling and start creating the life you truly want.

Take the time to survey your life and answer the questions above. Pick at least one of the qualities you want to experience in your life. Then identify at least two ways that this quality already exists in your life. If it doesn’t exist, then come up with at least one action you can take to create it. After you’ve taken this action notice what starts to happen.

Remember, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice.
With love,

Beth and Neill

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Are You Limiting Yourself?

Have you ever wanted something and put real effort into getting it, only to end up disappointed because it didn’t quite work out the way you had hoped? If so, you’re not alone.

Many people focus their thoughts and efforts on one particular thing that they want and then lose sight of the bigger picture. They end up blinding themselves to all the good things that are actually happening in their lives because they can only see the one outcome that they initially imagined.

More times than not, things don’t always come in the exact form that we expect. Rather than giving in to disappointment, focus instead on the underlying importance of what you want–see the bigger picture. Be open to experiencing the miracles that come as the result of your efforts.

“In the measurement world, we set a goal and strive to achieve it. In the universe of possibility, we set the context and let life unfold.”
~ B. Zander, The Art of Possibility

Start creating big picture intentions instead of focusing on just one particular outcome.

The kind of intention we’re talking about expresses the values or quality of life you want to experience, while a specific outcome describes particular people, actions, and set time frames required to accomplish something.

As an example, an open intention might sound something like: “I intend to create a more peaceful, harmonious life.” This creates a bigger picture with many options for getting what you want. This can be much more satisfying than a specific outcome intention such as: “I’m going to find a new job by the end of the month.” With this intention you are limited to the options of finding a new job or being disappointed.

Once you have created your big picture intention, then it’s time to identify actions you can take that will support you in creating what you want.

This week… if you hear yourself saying “I want…” ask yourself the question: “Is this a big picture intention, or am I limiting myself?” and see what occurs to you.

With love,
Beth and Neill

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Does it ever seem like no matter how fast you pedal you can’t get ahead of the curve? That your list of to-do’s piles up faster than you can get them done?

One of the best way to relieve stress is take the focus off yourself by volunteering to do something for someone else. Sometimes just doing one thing for someone else, purely from a place of generosity, can give you a sense of satisfaction and the joy of accomplishment that you can’t get just checking things off your own list of things to do.

It’s a fact that people feel better when they take the time to contribute to others. One recent study found that almost half of the people who perform volunteer work felt less depressed when they were volunteering. And the number climbed to over 70% when the person volunteering was using their professional experience or was volunteering in an area in which they had a strong personal interest.

If volunteering to lend your support at a homeless shelter isn’t your cup of tea, then what about helping adults learn to read, or becoming a Big Brother or Sister. Maybe it’s just helping a political candidate that you believe in. If you can’t think of anything, try this link:

www.VolunteerMatch.org/

There are a lot of different ways you can take the focus off yourself and the overwhelm of your life. First it helps to figure out what’s important to you, what you care about, or some area where you’d like to make a difference.

The point is that human beings have a fundamental desire to contribute to other people’s well-being. I believe this is genetically hardwired in us. But even if it isn’t, I’ve never seen anyone happier than when they’ve been able to joyfully contribute to another person’s well-being.

So try thinking of a way that you could lend a helping hand to someone where you could do it with the same spirit that a child has when they feed bread to hungry ducks in the pond at the park. The joy of giving is a sure-fire way to get a real sense of relief from the stress in your life.

Until next time… Committed to success,

Neill

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First of all, I dislike using labels such as “terrorist.” Labels such as these tend to dehumanize the person we’re talking about and help perpetuate a culture of “enemy images.” And “enemy images” are the driving force that perpetuates terrorism.

But to unwrap this label, let’s agree that terrorism means: “the systematic use of fear, especially as a means of coercion.” The question that comes to my mind is: How could anyone come to believe that using fear to influence someone else to do what we want is the best strategy? (Just look at the history of the Middle East if you want to see how ineffective this strategy is at truly resolving issues.)

Well, the best answer I’ve found to this question has to do with how we unwittingly adopt our culture’s beliefs and then unquestioningly act on them. I haven’t seen anyone who explains this more succinctly than this talk given by …

Dan Dennett: On ants, terrorism, and the awesome power of meme

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/dan_dennett_on_dangerous_memes.html

Here’s one of those talks that can change your view of the world forever. Starting with the deceptively simple story of an ant, Dan Dennett unleashes a dazzling sequence of ideas, making a powerful case for the existence of “memes” — a term coined by Richard Dawkins for mental concepts that are literally alive and capable of spreading from brain to brain. On the way, look out for:
+ a powerful one-sentence secret of happiness
+ a compelling insight into terrorists’ motivation
+ a chilling view of Islam
And just when you think you know where the talk’s heading, it dramatically shifts direction and questions some of western culture’s fundamental assumptions.
This Is Unmissable.

After viewing this talk, it’s not hard to understand how a dangerous set of relationship memes has hijacked most of the brains in today’s culture, and why people end up acting the way they do on “dating” and Survivor type reality shows.

Fascinating stuff! What do you think?

Committed to Your Success,
Neill Gibson

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Supporting Your Continued Growth!

Yesterday I posted the first five out of 10 Personal growth questions that have made a difference in my life. Here is part two, the next five questions out of 10. I hope they support you as much as they have supported me.

6. What motivates me?

Motivation is what gets us in action, action is what creates results. Ask the question, what motivates me? Then observe your life. When you accomplish something, identify what is that motivated you to accomplish it. Watch when you get excited, what are you feeling excited about, that’s motivation. If you discover the answer to this question you are well on your way to creating a life you love.

7. What do I value most?

Your values are the essence of who you are. Getting clear about them and living them is a guaranteed way to be the fullest most authentic expression of yourself.

8. What do I really want?

Yes I know this question might seem trite, but how many times do you actually stop and ask yourself this question and then really listen to the answers. The funny thing is, in each moment this question can generate completely different answers.

So, start asking this question, stop and really listen to the answer, and then identify small step towards getting it. You are worth it.

9. What do I appreciate most about myself?

This question is essential for creating a life you love. It’s very challenging to love your life when you can’t identify anything you appreciate about yourself. And I’m convinced the only reason that you couldn’t find things you appreciate about yourself is you haven’t had enough practice. So start practicing today!

10. What am I grateful for?

If you want to live your best possible life, if you want to be all that you can be, or if you just want to be happier in any moment, asked this question as often as you can remember. When you’re in the process of being grateful you can’t help but feeling good.

Why ask questions?

Questioning myself is the easiest way I have found to find truth in my life. This is because we are the only ones that can say what is true for us. So ask questions and never stop asking. Listen to the answers and trust they are true for you. Then start taking actions that move you closer and closer to your truth. This process will guarantee your continued growth into the fullest most authentic expression of you.

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Prepare to Grow!

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Be All You Can Be”. The Army may not be the place you want to Be All You Can Be, but for most of us, we truly want to grow into the fullest most authentic expression of ourselves. The question then becomes, how– how do I get to the point of being all that I can be? I mostly see myself as truly content with my life– happy with the way things are going, but I also know that I’m far from Buddha and I’m sure that my life can be more wonderful than it is in any given moment.

Do you seek personal growth and spiritual development skills that would bring more meaning to your life– something a bit more important than your day-to-day activities?

I don’t know about you, but when I get entrenched in the details of my life it seems challenging to step back and ask: “Am I being all that I can be?. For this reason I’m always looking for ways to interrupt the day-to-day routine and create more of what I want in life. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… or can you?

Here Are 5 Of The 10 Questions I Came Up With To Help This Old Dog Be All She Can Be.

1. Am I happy in this moment?

Anytime is a great time to ask this question, because each moment added up becomes your life! Check in as often as you can remember.

If the answer is yes, celebrate! But if the answer is no, find something in that moment will make you happier than you are right then.

2. Am I comfortable with the direction my life is headed?

The one thing you can count on in life is change. Because our lives are always shifting and changing it’s important to stay conscious about the direction it’s going. Check in with yourself. Ask, am I comfortable with this course my life is taking. Remember, its never too late to adjust course. Every small adjustment is a conscious choice in creating a life you want– instead of the life that just happens to you.

3. Is there anything about me, that if changed, would dramatically enhance my life?

This is the kind of question that many of us might have trouble with. Guilt, sadness, or regret might come up in the process of asking yourself this kind of question. But just like I said before, change is inevitable and if were lucky in the process of our own personal changes we consciously choose what would enhance our lives.

So every once in awhile take an honest self inventory of your habitual behaviors and choices. Try not to beat yourself up if you find things you would like change. Then get very clear about how you want to be instead and start practicing.

4. What do I believe is possible for my life?

It has been said, that we can only have what we believe is possible. Check-in, this question will give you amazing insights on what is in your way of you getting what you want.

5. What’s most important to me?

Unless you know what’s important to you, it’s almost impossible to get it. Make a list and make sure you spend some time focusing in each of these areas of your life.

Yes You Can Teach An Old Dog New Tricks

These may seem like simple questions, but the answers can be profound. Asking them, listening to the answers and taking action, has helped this puppy to be all that she can be.

Spend some time asking yourself these questions. Be with them, write down what occurs to you. Next right down any actions you want to take in relation to the answers you came up with.

click here for Part Two–the next 5 of 10 Personal Growth Questions That Make a Difference.

until next then.

live, love and laugh,

Beth

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A Preference, not a Judgment

In my last post I went off a little bit on “moralistic dogmatism” and I’d like to make sure that you were left with the wrong impression. You see, I’m not against moralistic dogmatism. I just found that moralistic dogmatism didn’t seem to work very well as a tool for creating the kind of life or the kind of world I want to experience.

Coming of age in the late 60s I found myself drawn to the anti-this an anti-that movements. It made sense to me to be against war, poverty, the military-industrial complex, fascism, and well, all of those things that me and my buddies were so righteously indignant about.

What You Focus Your Attention on Grows

It took me a little while, and reading a number of books, to get the idea that “what you resist persists.” But one thing that really helped this hit home was when I heard a guy named Marshall Rosenberg sing a song about how “you can’t do it don’t.”

I started listening for how often people express themselves in the negative: what they don’t want, what they’re against, what they don’t like, what they want to make stop, etc.

To put a fine point on it, Rosenberg then tells a story about a woman who’s tired of spending nights home alone while the husband works late. So she screws up her courage and tells him in her best ultimatum voice, “I don’t want you staying so late at the office!” So what does he do? He joins a bowling league.

That’s the problem with having your attention focused on what you don’t want. If you’re not clear about what you do want, it leaves the door wide open for other things that you don’t want to wander in.

Now, one of the things I’ve figured out along the way is that people are totally self-serving. That’s not a judgment, it’s actually a result of our genetic coding to make sure that we get everything we need to survive, thrive, and multiply. And doesn’t it make sense that that’s more likely to happen if you are moving toward what you do want rather than pushing against what you don’t?

Be For What You Want and Against Nothing

So at this point I’m “for” being “for,” but not “against” being “against.” I find that every time I start to react to something that I don’t like or don’t want, the faster I can get clear about what I do want instead, the easier it is for me to get it, and the more fun I have in the process.

This practice, turning my don’t want to do once, has allowed me to hone in on picking which things I am going to “test” to see whether or not they are something I’d like to “hold to firmly.” And I’m finding more and more things that I like all the time.

Committed to Your Success,

Neill Gibson

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Welcome to the first of many New Age Self-Help blog posts. Our goal in this blog is to provide you with personal growth and professional development skills and techniques to help you improve relationships, increase self-esteem, support full self expression, relieve stress and reduce anger so you can lead a happy and more satisfying life.

In this post, we’d like to take the time to introduce ourselves and give you an idea of what’s important to us about these topics.

We are Beth Banning and Neill Gibson and we will both be writing posts. We each have very different styles of writing and thinking. So even though we usually end up in similar places, the roads we travel to get there can be quite different.

Neill is more analytical, abstract and typically a global-big picture kind-of-guy. Beth is more linear and typically uses more everyday language, and is definitely a glass-half-full kind of gal.

As we said in the About Us section of our blog, we believe that the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice. Our mission is to play a significant role in supporting the global evolution toward greater consciousness that supports a shift from the belief in scarcity, domination and “the survival of the fittest,” to a global culture that embraces the values of abundance, prosperity and inter-reliance–one that promotes “the evolution of everyone.”

We are confident that the most effective way for this shift to happen is one relationship at a time, beginning with the relationship we have with ourselves and then extending that shift out to the people in our lives.

Our vision for this blog is to share with you what we’ve learned along our journey. Our desire is to support you in the process.

You may find some of the information we offer in our blog will be familiar to you, while some will seem radically different than what you’ve learned in the past. You’ll probably agree with some of our opinions, be shocked by others, hopefully inspired by many, and possibly even irritated by a few.

As Buddha said:

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. Do not believe anything because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything because it is written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and the benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

Whatever your reaction or response, our goal is to offer ideas that promote conscious conversation, inspire conscious action and to create a more conscious world. We look forward to your comments and questions, and the opportunity to support you in your personal evolution and your ability to create more happiness in your life and your world.

With Love and a Commitment to Your Success,

Beth and Neill

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